When I saw the news, the first reaction was to swear. What do you do when something that was important to you suddenly fades away? And it fades away in a painful way.
I cursed, even on twitter, even though I censored a couple of letters so as not to run the risk of having my account blocked. And then I felt drained.
I was writing a post, the last one I published before this, and it was important for me to do that. When I write often I lose track of time, concentrate on what I want to say, and if even with these posts I can’t push the judges to judge the competitions fairly, I can at least scream against the injustices I see. So I went back to writing, I also published the post, but there was this emptiness that dug inside me, which became deeper and deeper.
An emptiness that has become as deep as an abyss, as vast as an ocean.
Strange, right? How someone you will never know can become so important. As his dreams can be yours, and the sufferings as well.
I have no idea what it can be like to be a high-level athlete, but I have very good ideas about what a sprained ankle is, and I have no trouble imagining him alone at night, on ice, with intense pain and the knowledge that it could all be over. Because even if this is something that has already happened, that he has already experienced and overcome, it does not mean that he can overcome it again.
His sufferings, and his dreams.
It was only after several hours that I decided to do something. Earlier I shared the bewilderment with other people who had been shaken by the same news. And then… Yuzu has always talked about how important the support is, that of the public towards him, but in general that of those who, unable to do anything else, direct positive thoughts in support of those in difficulty.
Actually he talked about many things, the phrases that resonate with more force now, from which it is possible to draw inspiration, are an infinity. Accept suffering and cry if necessary, because suffering is part of us, and only by accepting it can we move forward. Do what we can, with all our strength, day by day. Even if it’s something small.
Small, at times, like a paper crane.
Do you know its meaning? A clear explanation is found on Wikipedia.
I don’t know how to do a lot of origami, but I learned how to make cranes over thirty years ago, and I have never forgotten which folds need to be made, and in what order, even though I haven’t done any for many years.
A small but feasible commitment to send my wishes for healing beyond the oceans, beyond the continents, to a man who a few months ago spoke of the possibility of reaching the light at the end of darkness, and his hope of being able to bring a little light to someone, perhaps without knowing that he is already the light, and not just for someone but for many people, all over the world.
I had just decided to post on twitter the photo of a paper crane a day, with the hashtags
#LoveYuzuruFromAllOverTheWorld
#GetWellSoonYuzu
#WeLoveYouYuzu
when I saw that the members of the Italian Facebook group were wondering about the possibility of organizing something. I explained my project, and thanks to the group I changed it slightly. At first I thought about fold a crane a day, but the right number is 1,000, and when you do something you have to do it right. So yes, 1,000, although I still have to organize myself with the envelopes. Wikipedia has already done the calculation for me, I can make 25 envelopes of 40 cranes each, so day by day I don’t go crazy figuring out how many cranes I’ve done. I’ll post my daily photo, and post the photo of all the cranes at the end. Yesterday morning I was at 27 cranes.
Now I’m at 45 cranes.
I don’t ask anyone to follow me in my project. I do it because I want to do it, because if good thoughts really have some power, I won’t let Yuzu miss mine.
I have seen so many questions, and I have decided to explain what I am doing. Someone, on the day of the injury, pointed out that there are 100 days left to Beijing, and with 10 cranes a day we will arrive just in time for that appointment. 1,000, before Beijing. We don’t know yet if Yuzu will be there. He never said he wanted the third Olympic gold, he never said for sure if he will be there, the maximum he has come to say is “if Beijing is on the road to quadruple axel …” Now, if he recovers, Beijing is on the road of the quadruple axel. The NHK Trophy is gone, and I doubt he will be able to make it back in time for the Rostelecom Cup. If he hadn’t been really hurt he would have waited a little more before retiring, he would have tried a recovery. We know his competitive spirit. As for the national championship, a jump landed there has no relevance at a world level. So… Beijing. In theory, there would be the Four Continents Championship first, but if the injury is really serious, before the Olympic Games there is a few more days for healing. In 2018, every day was fundamental and we have no idea if this will be the case again this year. In truth, we know nothing of anything. If Yuzu were to skip the National Championship and the winner will be someone other than the three who got on the podium in the last two editions – unlikely but not impossible – who would be selected for the team? I have little faith in the Japanese federation, I have already seen his propensity to suicide. Very unlikely, I know, but it’s a possibility. Something that I am aware of but have no influence over. What I can do is fold the paper.
By the date of Beijing my cranes will be ready. Maybe I will not be very regular, some days I will do more and a few days less, but I’ll end my cranes in time.
The cranes I am posting day after day are a little different from the others. Sooner or later I’ll finish the block of paper I’m using for most of the cranes and I’ll have to change format. As for the ones daily I’ve already done…
In the Italian group I explained something about the first crane:
Visto che mi è stato chiesto se potete condividere la mia foto, rispondo qui. Sì, se volete potete condividerla su qualsiasi social, in qualsiasi punto, in luoghi pubblici o privati. Per me l’importante è il pensiero a Yuzu, tutto il resto è secondario. Se può interessare, ho deliberatamente usato la pagina di oggi del calendario da tavolo, perché è oggi che si è fatto male. Si tratta di un calendario letterario, ogni pagina contiene una citazione. Quella della pagina di oggi, proveniente da Il libro dei Chakra di Anodea Judith, l’ho trascritta prima di fare la gru: “Spesso la forza viene definita come dominio; la sensibilità come debolezza”. Potrei anche decidere di comprare il libro e leggerlo, solo per questa frase. Non so come la vedete voi, io la interpreto come l’affermazione che molti ritengono che è forte solo chi domina sugli altri, ma per me il dominio è prepotenza, e la sensibilità di Yuzu, che qualcuno potrebbe scambiare per debolezza, è invece una forza straordinaria. Quanto alla foto in sé, questa è la seconda che ho scattato. La prima, con la gru posta davanti allo scaffale della mia libreria che contiene i libri su Yuzu, non mi soddisfaceva. Questa è semplice, e non è particolarmente bella. Però la gru si trova davanti a una parete bianca, come è bianca la parete davanti a cui si è recato Yuzu per tutti i video che ha postato nei periodi fra una gara e l’altra. Va bene, c’è anche lo schienale del divano, dovevo pur poggiare la gru da qualche parte, però il pensiero c’è stato. E, prima che me lo chiediate… sì, se volete potete ripubblicare ovunque anche questo commento.
The wall behind the crane is stained, poor. I have made no attempt to embellish it. I didn’t do it because life is often like that, with its imperfections. Think of Sendai’s Ice Rink, when Yuzu interpreted White Legend and Hana ni Nare so intensely. No particular lights, no decorations, nothing to soften the appearance of the rink. Only he and the ice, and around the world with all his imperfections, and all was perfect like that. So my stained wall is fine, it’s life that’s like that, what matters is the strength of feelings.
As for the book from which the quote comes, I have never read anything about the Chakras, although I have seen them mentioned in different contexts, and perhaps it is time for me to learn something. Often the books I stumbled upon casually played a big role for me, they gave me more than I had previously imagined. I also found paper cranes in a book. This is The Last Paper Crane by Kerry Drewery. It starts from that day in Hiroshima, goes through enormous pain and the passage of time and ends with me in tears. But when we feel the need, it is right to cry. Yuzu also reminded this to us.
A paper crane a day, on my Twitter and Facebook profile. From the second day on, I started using Yuzu’s costumes for my cranes. I searched for a photo, printed it, cut it into a square, and folded the paper. Only the costume, not the face. The colors and designs of the costumes are wonderful, they can give beautiful effects, while seeing a fragment of the face, with the rest hidden by the folds of the paper, could be disturbing.
Obviously the costume is that of Ten to Chi to or, if you prefer, Heaven and Earth. The start from this was almost obligatory for me. It is the last costume we saw him wear in a competitive program, a very important program for him that, in the new version, should have included the quadruple axel. This is the photo I used:
For the next crane I used Notte stellata, because it was the Olympic gala and it is linked to the awareness that even on the darkest night the stars shine on us, and that darkness will end, replaced by light. For Yuzu it is a message of hope, something essential to move forward.
This time I did a minimum of scenography, using a mirror to place the swan in a lake. The costume:
From this moment the order becomes random, I will go back and forth in time, and inevitably I will have to repeat the costumes. For today I used Romeo + Juliet.
From the crane it is impossible to understand, but this photo was taken the instant he gave the scream, before the Nice choreographic sequence:
The journey has just begun. Day after day I will go on. Anyone who wants to join me, anyone who wants to share what I’m doing, or reuse my images in any way, can do it. The only thing that matters is being able to make Yuzu feel our warmth.
Ganbatte!
